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Shawn Is On Fire
We tripped on our urge to feel alive.
This journal is a memorial. New entries cannot be posted to it.
Created on 2005-01-03 23:36:57 (#5639276), last updated 2007-01-15
2,421 comments received, 1,436 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
308 Journal Entries, 2 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 5 Userpics
Basic Info BioThis matter of identity cannot be dealt with easily. I can only allude to that which can never be said directly.
I'm a paradox of sorts--the person I am will forever be at odds with the person I need to be to achieve what I'd truly like.
I don't care what you say, pessimism is NOT the same thing as reality. Being blindly optimistic may be unrealistic in alot of ways, but it's a much better way to live than being insistently negative and cynical.
I seem to stumble through life blindly most of the time, constantly immersed in a thick darkness. However, every once and awhile, my existance is momentarily illuminated by a fleeting moment of clarity. It lasts but an instant, but gives me enough time to take in my surroundings and to set out once more in the right direction.
The words flow freely and you empty yourself onto paper. But does anyone really take notice? Is it just a plaintive and futile plea to a cold and impassive world? I'd like to know who, if anyone, is listening.
At this time I step out of myself, and take a look at the world around me. I see such strange things when I take the time to look.
When it comes to serious decisions, I'm an indecisive person. Instead of deciding something myself I'd probably rather accept somebody else's decision and philosophize and rationalize until I've convinced myself it was the best thing that could've happened.
How many times do people fade away unnoticed and unannounced? How often do words go unspoken and feelings go unexpressed? Perhaps I'm wrong but this should never be.
I don't want to pass through this place without leaving my mark.
If you have the words inside you then you might as well just say them.
Half-formed thoughts and shattered dreams. Twisted minds and dying screams. You can't hold on to a feeling, but you can take a stab at what it means.
I'm sorry, but I can't have you around any longer. It's nothing personal, you just remind me of the person I used to be.
The world will try to break you whenever the opportunity arises.
Apathy and indifference may be a defense, but the sacrifice is too great. The risk is one worth running.
The answer lies in that dark, depressing place which we so compulsively avoid.
Never allow yourself to feel anything other than life, for better or for worse. You've only one shot and it'd be a waste to simply "survive". Make it your own, experience all that you can however, most of all, allow no regret to reside in your heart.
Promise me you'll carry this moment with you forever. Never forget this moment of clarity or those defining moments in your life. Don't give in completely to the routine of everyday life, and keep those few, rare instances that mean something more close by. This is everything, right now is everything. Don't forget it.
I leave clues so I can find my way back, in times of mindlessness. Perhaps one day I'll make the choice to let go, and lose my way entirely.
I waited as long as I could, but I had to leave you behind in the end.
..and so you carve yourself a life out of the abyss you're confronted with; personifying the darkness and making yourself comfortable. But in forging a permanent existance and in leaving conclusive proof of life you lose your mobility and your ability to experience new things.
Then again, I guess your own perception is all that you can really be sure of. It's just a shame that the only truth you can feel is also one that can change so easily.
Follow your instincts. Strive to accomplish the things that truly make you feel alive.
..when all along all of your efforts were being made towards one, unifying goal. To quell the monster within and to silence it's influence. To live free.
I'm only eccentric when I'm happy.
If you can't take this dream you're living in, you simply need to wake yourself up. Give yourself a pinch.
I can't see anymore. All I can do is count.
What's the point of getting ahead in a game that you cannot win?
You are avoiding any number of untold and unpleasant fates simply by being exactly who you are right now.
I'm a paradox of sorts--the person I am will forever be at odds with the person I need to be to achieve what I'd truly like.
I don't care what you say, pessimism is NOT the same thing as reality. Being blindly optimistic may be unrealistic in alot of ways, but it's a much better way to live than being insistently negative and cynical.
I seem to stumble through life blindly most of the time, constantly immersed in a thick darkness. However, every once and awhile, my existance is momentarily illuminated by a fleeting moment of clarity. It lasts but an instant, but gives me enough time to take in my surroundings and to set out once more in the right direction.
The words flow freely and you empty yourself onto paper. But does anyone really take notice? Is it just a plaintive and futile plea to a cold and impassive world? I'd like to know who, if anyone, is listening.
At this time I step out of myself, and take a look at the world around me. I see such strange things when I take the time to look.
When it comes to serious decisions, I'm an indecisive person. Instead of deciding something myself I'd probably rather accept somebody else's decision and philosophize and rationalize until I've convinced myself it was the best thing that could've happened.
How many times do people fade away unnoticed and unannounced? How often do words go unspoken and feelings go unexpressed? Perhaps I'm wrong but this should never be.
I don't want to pass through this place without leaving my mark.
If you have the words inside you then you might as well just say them.
Half-formed thoughts and shattered dreams. Twisted minds and dying screams. You can't hold on to a feeling, but you can take a stab at what it means.
I'm sorry, but I can't have you around any longer. It's nothing personal, you just remind me of the person I used to be.
The world will try to break you whenever the opportunity arises.
Apathy and indifference may be a defense, but the sacrifice is too great. The risk is one worth running.
The answer lies in that dark, depressing place which we so compulsively avoid.
Never allow yourself to feel anything other than life, for better or for worse. You've only one shot and it'd be a waste to simply "survive". Make it your own, experience all that you can however, most of all, allow no regret to reside in your heart.
Promise me you'll carry this moment with you forever. Never forget this moment of clarity or those defining moments in your life. Don't give in completely to the routine of everyday life, and keep those few, rare instances that mean something more close by. This is everything, right now is everything. Don't forget it.
I leave clues so I can find my way back, in times of mindlessness. Perhaps one day I'll make the choice to let go, and lose my way entirely.
I waited as long as I could, but I had to leave you behind in the end.
..and so you carve yourself a life out of the abyss you're confronted with; personifying the darkness and making yourself comfortable. But in forging a permanent existance and in leaving conclusive proof of life you lose your mobility and your ability to experience new things.
Then again, I guess your own perception is all that you can really be sure of. It's just a shame that the only truth you can feel is also one that can change so easily.
Follow your instincts. Strive to accomplish the things that truly make you feel alive.
..when all along all of your efforts were being made towards one, unifying goal. To quell the monster within and to silence it's influence. To live free.
I'm only eccentric when I'm happy.
If you can't take this dream you're living in, you simply need to wake yourself up. Give yourself a pinch.
I can't see anymore. All I can do is count.
What's the point of getting ahead in a game that you cannot win?
You are avoiding any number of untold and unpleasant fates simply by being exactly who you are right now.
ConnectInterests (123):
1950s, afi, air hockey, alexisonfire, apple juice, arcade games, archie comics, australia, back to the future, bad religion, beaches, blacula, british humour, building forts, buttons, captain crunch, chains, cheaters, checkered socks, civilization, classic films, clocks that tick, cloud watching, concerts, dance dance revolution, distillers, dr. phil, dropkick murphy's, eyepatches, farside, ferris bueler, fifties music, flogging molly, friends, fufu berry, full moons, gameboy, gamecube, george a. romero, george orwell, getting lost, guitar solos, guns n roses, hats, hippo races, history, horror, iga, independant films, indiana jones, inventing dance moves, ireland, jack handy, jogging, jones soda, kayla mantle, kids in the hall, legend of zelda, lego, less than jake, limos, lost world, mariokart, mighty ducks movies, millencolin, miner helmets, misfits, monty python, msn, new york city, nightmare before christmas, nintendo, nostalgia, peanut butter cups, pez, philosophy, photos, pirates, pogs, pokemon, princess bride, prozzak, psychology, random things, reading, retro, rita mcneil, robots, roller coasters, rush, safety pins, saved by the bell, science fiction, seinfeld, seinfeld voice, sewing, sin city, singing in the car, ska, skulls, smash brothers, snl, spikey things, spontaneity, spring, stage diving, star gazing, star trek: voyager, star wars, superburger, superheroes, surfer lingo, surfing, surprises, teenage mutant ninja turtles, thrift stores, tim burton, times square, top hats, transformers, travelling, uncle ben, walks
External Services:
 | shawnisonfire@livejournal.com |
Schools:
Centennial Hylands Elementary School - Shelburne, ON, Canada (1993 - 2001)Centre Dufferin District High School - Shelburne, ON, Canada (2001 - 2006)
Trent University - Peterborough, ON, Canada (2006 - present)
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